cybugs:

one time my uncle bought a tumbleweed so every time one of his students made a bad joke he could roll it across the classroom 

cakeman265:

"Do you drive?"

"Yeah."

image

"No, a real car."

"Yeah."

image

asian:

The sunset was beautiful today

asian:

The sunset was beautiful today

eridanampervert:

genocidersyooo:

when life gives you lemons what do you do

DONT MAKE LEMONADE

MAKE LIFE TAKE THE LEMONS BACK!

GET MAD!

I DONT WANT YOUR DAMN LEMONS WHAT IM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THESE?

DEMAND TO SEE LIFES MANAGER. MAKE LIFE RUE THE DAY IT THOUGHT IT COULD GIVE, *CAVE JOHNSON* LEMONS.

DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!

IM THE MAN WHOS GONNA BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN, WITH THE LEMONS! 

IM GONNA GET MY ENGINEERS TO INVENT A COMBUSTIBLE LEMON THAT’LL BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN.

me: i'm going shopping do you want something?
friend: nah, i'm fine
*arrives*
me: *eating cookies*
friend: give me one
me: are you fuckin kidding with me
Video Game: Press Start
Me: *presses A*
annabellehector:

wanna bet

annabellehector:

wanna bet

fvming:

"You don’t have many followers"

Jesus only had 12